Weather or Not

For all of you unfamiliar with European geography we in England live in the Northern Hemisphere. Consequently we are closer to the Arctic Circle which by definition means our climate is characterised by cold winters and temperate summers. Whilst stating the obvious I would also like to remind you that we are currently in the month of February, which is in the middle of .......yes, you guessed it...winter! Irrespective of these fairly simple facts the English seemed shocked and stunned when the weather does exactly what it's meant to do.

Last Monday most of the country was bought to a standstill by very heavy but nevertheless fairly unusual snowfall. Buses were taken off the roads, schools and offices were shut and hundreds and hundreds of people fell flat on their arses. All well and good, all terribly inconvenient and for hundreds and hundreds all fairly sore but believe it or not it was not the end of civilization as we know it.

A couple of days off work won't make a ha'pporth of difference to the devastated economy, kids throughout the country will not fail GCSEs or A levels and most of the bruised bums are now healed and no doubt forgotten (unless of course you enjoy having a painful backside in which case that will be a subject for a later blog).

This week, of course, we have another weather anomaly...heavy rainfall! Yes indeedy folks, here in "lil'" olde England we are having deluges. All that's missing is a nice old fashioned "pea souper" fog and the bods at the Met Office can start cashing in their win treble bets with William Hill.

Let us, if you will, fast forward to the month of August. This is, as you are no doubt aware, in the middle of Summer. With absolutely no training whatsoever I can predict the following: There will be a spate of the temperature reaching close to 30 degrees, the Government will issue a warning that there may be a hosepipe ban, the evening news and daily papers will have headlines stating "Sun worshippers shunning the work spaces for the open spaces", pictures of bikini clad girls will be everywhere, office workers will threaten to strike if air conditioning is not installed and there will be ten mile tailbacks on every road leading to the coast on Bank Holiday weekend. I wonder what odds I'll get from the bookies on that little lot in an accumulator.

The way I look at it is we have it pretty darn easy. No monsoons, no typhoons, no tornadoes, no months of the midnight sun, no sandstorms, no real droughts so for pities sake no more drama, it's only soddin' weather.

About Face

I first became aware of Internet "social networking" when the "the teenager" started rambling on about it, firstly it was Bebo and a little later it was MySpace. To be frank I showed little or no interest to whines of "Daaaaaaaaaaaaad, that Emma is such a biatch she just slagged me off to Jessica" or boasts of "Yay, I've now got 14,023 friends, which is 3 more that Alfie!". Didn't understand it, didn't care.

About eighteen months ago, I started to pay a little more interest when "adult child" started to regale me with anecdotes regarding useful contacts he had made and various "hotties" he had hooked up with, all courtesy of Facebook. Nevertheless, I was still convinced that I'd stick with me "little black book" and leave all that new fangled technology to the young'uns.

It wasn't until my son came up with his own take on the concept (launching in a couple of months...watch this space) and asked me for various bits of advice that I decided to take the plunge.

So, I loaded up my profile and piccy. Contacted a few people that I knew were already members and added them as "friends" and there I was a fully fledged participant in the organic growth of the Facebook community.

For the first few weeks I kinda got involved. People from work started to add me, I searched out a few "old flames" and piggy-backed a few contacts and sent the odd "friend" request but then I got bored. I got fed up with people I'd seen all day messaging me with "whassup Mo?" or finding out that Jenny "was pissed off with Jason!". So with my typical bolshy attitude I decided that it was just silly and I didn't see the point of finding out what people I didn't give a rat's arse about were doing. I didn't log-in, I didn't miss it and I never gave it another thought.

Then one day I got an email. It was an alert from Facebook. One of my oldest friends had found me on there and sent a message and friend request. Of course I accepted and was chuffed to catch up with someone I really liked and hadn't seen in years. And then the flood-gates opened!

I couldn't get enough of it. One old friend's list meant that I could find other old friends. Magically, I became absorbed in finding out what people were up to. Efforts have been made to make interesting and amusing status-comments. Groups were joined and, as you probably know if you're reading this, I started my own little clique. Furthermore, it became very apparent how useful FB is as business tool. Not only can you post whatever it is you need and someone will help you find it but with a bit of effort it can also be used as an incredible aid to marketing or public opinion. Yes, I am now unashamedly a fan.

However, the other day I got a message inviting me to join Twitter. With my newly found enthusiasm for all thinks networky I decided to check it out. Apparently, by using your mobile phone you can let all your "followers" know exactly what you are doing at any time day or night. Not only that but you can comment on what you are doing and your contacts can comment on your comments.

As of now I really don't see the point, I can't be bothered and it feels a wee bit too much like "Big Brother" for me. Having said that give me another month or so and no doubt you'll be able to comment on whether my choice of kippers for breakfast was a good or bad idea.