Weather or Not

For all of you unfamiliar with European geography we in England live in the Northern Hemisphere. Consequently we are closer to the Arctic Circle which by definition means our climate is characterised by cold winters and temperate summers. Whilst stating the obvious I would also like to remind you that we are currently in the month of February, which is in the middle of .......yes, you guessed it...winter! Irrespective of these fairly simple facts the English seemed shocked and stunned when the weather does exactly what it's meant to do.

Last Monday most of the country was bought to a standstill by very heavy but nevertheless fairly unusual snowfall. Buses were taken off the roads, schools and offices were shut and hundreds and hundreds of people fell flat on their arses. All well and good, all terribly inconvenient and for hundreds and hundreds all fairly sore but believe it or not it was not the end of civilization as we know it.

A couple of days off work won't make a ha'pporth of difference to the devastated economy, kids throughout the country will not fail GCSEs or A levels and most of the bruised bums are now healed and no doubt forgotten (unless of course you enjoy having a painful backside in which case that will be a subject for a later blog).

This week, of course, we have another weather anomaly...heavy rainfall! Yes indeedy folks, here in "lil'" olde England we are having deluges. All that's missing is a nice old fashioned "pea souper" fog and the bods at the Met Office can start cashing in their win treble bets with William Hill.

Let us, if you will, fast forward to the month of August. This is, as you are no doubt aware, in the middle of Summer. With absolutely no training whatsoever I can predict the following: There will be a spate of the temperature reaching close to 30 degrees, the Government will issue a warning that there may be a hosepipe ban, the evening news and daily papers will have headlines stating "Sun worshippers shunning the work spaces for the open spaces", pictures of bikini clad girls will be everywhere, office workers will threaten to strike if air conditioning is not installed and there will be ten mile tailbacks on every road leading to the coast on Bank Holiday weekend. I wonder what odds I'll get from the bookies on that little lot in an accumulator.

The way I look at it is we have it pretty darn easy. No monsoons, no typhoons, no tornadoes, no months of the midnight sun, no sandstorms, no real droughts so for pities sake no more drama, it's only soddin' weather.