Ad-ission

For the first time since I started this lark I got half way through writing something and decided I hated it. The problem was that although I actually felt I had something to say about the subject matter I didn't really give a toss about it! Consequently it is now in the cyber dustbin and I've started over.

However it didn't take long to find my latest target, it's been staring me in the face...literally. T.V advertising! Now, I don't know whether it's just the time of year or I've been OD'ing on the goggle box but as the renown cartoonist Scott Adams (Dilbert) said "You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public ."

For starters, have you or anybody you know, or anybody than anybody you know knows ever paid full price for a sofa from DFS. No they haven't. After all these years I'd be a darn sight more impressed if they just said "we do bloody good sofas at a really cheap price with interest free credit" End of.

My newest fave hated ad is the one where Ringo Starr looks back on his "sparkling career" and newsreel footage of adoring fans and asks "Would all this have happened if I was still plain old Richard Starkey?". Well, actually Ringo me old mucker yes it would. You were the drummer in The Beatles you lucky bugger. Not one of the lead singers, not one of the song writers not even the ethereal interesting one. You could have been called Sigmund Schnussel for all it mattered! I find it even more distressing that even poor old Iggy Pop is flogging insurance too but at least he has the decency not to remind us that his real name is James Newell Osterberg Jr!

And what is it with all the car insurance ads? Surely if they all offered exactly the same thing with exactly the same criteria then we could all pay exactly the same rate and everybody wins. Then we wouldn't have to see that obnoxious Churchillian puppet dog or the daft sod dressed up as an Admiral. Mind you I do have a soft spot for Michael Winner so maybe he could become UK motor insurance front man. "Calm down dear its just an advert I'm doing to please Chairman Mo".

I couldn't finish this without a mention for those dietary staples Special K and Shredded Wheat. Do you know that you can add any combination of fruit, yoghurt or nuts along with some semi-skimmed milk and they will still taste like puke saturated cardboard. Even better if you substitute either of them for two ordinary meals every day for two weeks you will lose weight...oh yes and the will to live.

Of course, this is a way bigger subject than I could ever cover here, I haven't even touched on indecipherable car ads, supermarket price comparisons and gastro-porn but you know what? I feel like a man on a diet of Bran Flakes ... a lot less clogged-up than I was yesterday.